Lim Family Style of Buffet Eating: Philosophy and Technique

Upon entering the restaurant, one should scan the layout and calculate the quickest and most direct route to the food. If there is a waiting period before being seated, one should stand in a spot from where the food could be viewed and surveyed for potential consumption. When seated, all hindrances such as jackets, purses and/or children should be left at the table. If necessary, leave one member of the clan to watch over valuables. This member is either the one who volunteers (never me) or the one who will contribute the least to the initial food gathering round (again, never me). The food ratings goes as follows:

1. Seafood
2. Meats

The following foods should be avoided: breads, rice, noodles, potatoes and beverages. Try to drink as little fluids as possible as this takes up valuable stomach space. It also makes you go wee a lot which takes away from valuable eating time. Do not overfill plates because this will make you appear like a gluttonous cow. Remember, we want to be admired for our gluttony, not repulsed. This is a contested point as some members of the family often break this rule, which make them look like gluttonous cows! Any self respecting Lim must have the stomach capacity to accommodate at least three food gathering rounds. This of course does not include the dessert and fruit course. Those who choose to consume the should be avoided foods will be chided, tsk’ed and have remarks such as, “waste of stomach space”, thrown at them. Our main objective is to consume far more than our money’s worth. Sometimes we like to hear phrases such as, “man you can eat a lot” and “you’re getting another plate?!?!”, and sometimes we don’t. Depends on the atmosphere. A successful feast will be signified by the consumption of massive quantities of seafood and meats. Luckily, encoded within the Lim family genes is that of a fantastic metabolism…at least this is true of the female Lims (har har har fattty brothers!).